I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
