Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
