why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize