I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Terrible idea I love it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
