Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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