Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize