Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
