She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
