Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
