Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
