It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
