Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
