oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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