I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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