Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
