i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
