Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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