He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
