i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he's gonorrhea incarnate
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Please don't give away my fajitas
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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