the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Operation Purity has been aborted
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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