FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
