"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
