How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
