did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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