just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
