And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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