My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
