I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
