Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
