yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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