This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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