why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
