WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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