Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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