pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
