so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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