id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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