I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
