I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
