i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
