I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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