she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
