I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
