your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
