I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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