just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
