if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
