Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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