I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
