I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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